Your Greatest Weapon is Sex

Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and COME TOGETHER AGAIN SO THAT SATAN DOES NOT TEMPT YOU because of your lack of self-control. BUT I say this as a CONCESSION not as a COMMANDMENT (1 Cor. 7:5-6).

The Greek word for “deprive” is translated “defraud” in the King James Version and means “to defraud another of what belongs to him or her.” In the dictionary, defraud means to deprive what is one’s right, to cheat, to swindle, and to rip off. WITHHOLDING SEX FROM YOUR SPOUSE IS WRONG AND MANIPULATION for any reason except for fasting and pray ONLY IF BOTH OF YOU AGREE.

Paul wrote “that you may give yourselves…” meaning to concentrate all your attention without any distractions for a time. Then he states that he only says this as a CONCESSION or PERMISSION not as a commandment. I.e. it is NOT NECESSARY and is NOT COMMANDED by God to ABSTAIN FROM SEXUAL RELATIONS for fasting and prayer. The marriage bed is undefiled and highly valued (Heb. 13:4) and, as I have written in previous posts, a very spiritual act of becoming one. YOUR MARRIAGE BED IS TO BE ANOINTED WITH THE PRESENCE OF HOLY SPIRIT JUST AS ADAM AND EVE ENJOYED IN THE GARDEN. In fact, some of your best sex can be during times of intense prayer and fasting. BUT I WANT TO FOCUS ON HOW A HEALTHY SEX LIFE PROTECTS YOUR MARRIAGE FROM TEMPTATION!

The Science of Falling in Love and Staying in Love

You can fall “in love” with a complete stranger by SHARING INTIMATE DETAILS WITH ONE ANOTHER FOR 30 MINUTES AND THEN STARE INTO EACH OTHERS’ EYES FOR FOUR MINUTES.  Dr. Arthur Aran has conducted this experiment numerous times and found people were deeply attracted after just 34 minutes and some married!

There are two hormones that are released after sex: vasopressin and oxytocin. Vasopressin is the “monogamy hormone for men” and oxytocin is high in faithful women.

• Oxytocin is called the “bonding hormone.” IT IS ONLY RELEASED IN MEN AFTER SEX. Women, on the other hand, release oxytocin after sex, after childbirth, hugging someone, being trusted, laughing, deep relational connection, and even deep breathing. FEELING BONDED WITH YOUR SPOUSE THROUGH NON-SEX ACTIVITIES IS IMPORTANT FOR A FEMALE. FOR YOUR SPOUSE TO FEEL BONDED TO YOU, HE MUST HAVE SEX WITH YOU. Period. The end.
• Vasopressin. This hormone is released after sex. It works with your kidneys to regulate thirst. Its role in long-term commitment was discovered during research of the prairie vole. Prairie voles have sex more than is needed for reproduction and have long-term bonds due to vasopressin. When vasopressin was suppressed, the prairie voles devotion and relationship deteriorated immediately, and they did not protect their partner from new suitors.

Protect Your Marriage

As a Christian wife, you must realize that YOUR HUSBAND MUST HAVE SEX WITH YOU TO FEEL BONDED. It is your greatest weapon of warfare to protect your marriage. If you view sex as fleshly, wicked, or dirty, you will not be able to marry sexual intimacy with spiritual activities, which can lead to prolonged lack of sexual activity for “spiritual reasons” without your husband’s consent. This is the equivalent of putting a BULL’S EYE on your marriage for the enemy to tempt with adultery or sexual sin.

I want you to also realize that for both of you intimate sharing in conversation and being together in non-sexual activities is JUST AS IMPORTANT. In fact, a woman is wired to bond emotionally and conversationally. For a man, this is a learned skill. Sex begins in the kitchen is a great way of saying that good sex begins outside of the bedroom. When a husband is caring and attentive, the wife is ready any time for a romp between the sheets, but a husband will have a rough time being caring and attentive if his wife never wants to have sex, especially for “spiritual reasons.” This can also cause resentment toward God.

Being Faithful is a Choice

Scientists have proven that being faithful is a choice and what separates us from animals. An area of your brain called, the ventral tegmental area, is very active when first falling in love and pumps out dopamine, the pleasure hormone. It is still very active decades after marriage due to deep attachment. Nurture your marriage carefully, and it will last until “death do you part.”