What Does the Bible Say About Oral Sex?
Recently, I learned of a precious woman (have no idea who she is) that was getting tasteful and beautiful boudoir photos done for her husband. The reason why is because she had always been inhibited concerning sex due to incorrect admonitions from her father. The message she received was sex is bad, it’s only for procreation, and Jesus is watching you.
The views of the church concerning marriage and sex within marriage began to change between 100-500 AD. Marriage became sinful and sex was shameful. Tertullian and St. Ambrose were both proponents of such doctrine, a doctrine of devils. Much of it came from misinterpreting Paul’s teachings on marriage. The SUM of the Word is truth. God conducted the first marriage. Shame didn’t come until the fall. I believe He has the best idea for mankind and the last word.
Ancient Biblical Views of Sex
Among the ancients, sex was not something shameful. In fact, most cultures worshiped gods that were “sex gods.” Paintings, frescoes, reliefs, and idols of a sexual nature were a common part of life. Prostitutes were temple servants for different gods and goddesses. Sex as considered a form of worship.
Now, of course, we know that is not the case for the woman of God. The Jewish culture held sex as something holy but private. They didn’t view the sexual act between a husband and wife as shameful. In fact, the book, Song of Solomon, is about the sexual intimacy between a husband and wife. For example, read this verse in chapter 1.
Song of Songs 1:13 (NKJV)
13 A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me, That lies all night between my breasts.
This is referring to her being naked with her spouse. Read this one referring to their marriage bed.
Song of Songs 1:16-17 (NKJV)
16 THE SHULAMITE Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant! Also our bed is green.
17 The beams of our houses are cedar, And our rafters of fir.
Green refers to fresh and flourishing. I.e. their sex life was fresh and maturing. Verse 17 refers to having sex outside! And the list go on and on in this wonderful, anointed book.
What about Oral Sex?
Now let’s look at the topic of oral sex. It is one of the most frequent questions I get asked as a minister. I recommend referring to an earlier post on "What is NOT Okay in Bed?” for guidelines that will help you in the marriage bed.
First, let me give you some scriptures on the topic of oral sex.
Song of Songs 2:3-6 (NKJV)
3 THE SHULAMITE Like an apple tree among the trees of the woods, So is my beloved among the sons. I sat down in his shade with great delight,And his fruit was sweet to my taste.
4 THE SHULAMITE TO THE DAUGHTERS OF JERUSALEM He brought me to the banqueting house, And his banner over me was love.
5 Sustain me with cakes of raisins, Refresh me with apples, For I am lovesick.
6 His left hand is under my head, And his right hand embraces me.
Sitting down in his shade speaks of sexual intercourse. Scholars recognize that “his fruit” is referring to oral sex. We see a very passionate scene in which his left hand is under her hand and right hand embraces her after she pleases him orally.
Song of Songs 6:2 (NKJV)
2 THE SHULAMITE My beloved has gone to his garden, To the beds of spices, To feed his flock in the gardens, And to gather lilies.
The garden refers to her pubic area. Notice the fragrance of their sexual encounter by referring to her as “the bed of spices.” Science has shown that the smell of an aroused man and woman is an aphrodisiac. Feeding his flock is not referring to sheep. I’m sure you can imagine what it means. Gather lilies is referring to her pubic hair. Are you shocked yet? This is in the Bible!
Song of Songs 7:2-3 (NKJV)
2 Your navel is a rounded goblet; It lacks no blended beverage. Your waist is a heap of wheatSet about with lilies.
3 Your two breasts are like two fawns, Twins of a gazelle.
Again, we have a scene of intense sexual activity within the sanctity of marriage. Here the man is referring to her navel and below that is a beverage, good to drink, and a heap of wheat, good to eat. Again, lilies refers to her pubic hair. Then he explores her breasts with pleasure. A woman’s breasts are the only of any creature that are in the front, that remain after pregnancy, and that are designed for pleasure.
Song of Songs 7:8-9 (NKJV)
8 I said, “I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of its branches.” Let now your breasts be like clusters of the vine, The fragrance of your breath like apples,
9 And the roof of your mouth like the best wine. THE SHULAMITE The wine goes down smoothly for my beloved, Moving gently the lips of sleepers.
Verse 8 is speaking of the husband mounting her. He is tasting her breasts. He is deeply kissing her as described in verse nine.
I hope you see that the body is designed to be explored by each spouse without shame or embarrassment and without inhibitions. God not only doesn’t prohibit oral sex within marriage but through inspiration of Holy Spirit describes it in detail in the Song of Solomon. This means that God “ordains” oral sex as something undefiled within marriage.