Scientific Ways to Be Attractive to Your Spouse
God designed our brains to fall in love with our future spouse. It is literally a “lovesick” condition in which a chemical cocktail is fueling you with overwhelming desire to be with your man to the point that sleep and food are not necessary. You are literally addicted. But God also knows that people cannot survive like this. After a while, you both return to normal. It is at this point that many couples begin to struggle and eventually say that they “have fallen out of love.” However, if a couple will realize that a marriage is like RAISING A CHILD and do the things needed to grow the relationship, they will stay together until death parts them. In fact, it is in this difficult stage that God designed your brains to begin to release oxytocin, the bonding hormone. There are several ways to do this. The most important way is sex. 🙂
The Science Behind Attraction
God has also built into our brains specific cues that cause initial attraction. For example, a man with a very masculine face is evidence of high testosterone and attractive to the female. A feminine face is evidence of estrogen and attractive to the male. Symmetry is another aspect of attraction because it reveals good physical and genetic health to our brains. One study took the face of a very attractive male and female, tweaked a couple of things like the eye and the mouth to reduce symmetry, and you can instantly see the dramatic difference. So much so that some did not recognize it was the same person. And that was with very subtle changes. When a woman ovulates, her face changes for the better to produce more attractiveness to her spouse for reproduction. God designed us this way to guarantee the continuing existence of the human race.
Most people pick mates within a point of their attractiveness. I.e. a 9 on a scale of 1-10 will not pick a 3. He or she will choose an 8 or 10. Voice pitch also determines attraction. A low pitch in males signifies higher testosterone, and a high and soft pitch signals more estrogen in females. During ovulation, a woman’s voice changes to a higher pitch. In one study, the men picked women as more attractive not knowing that the ones they chose were ovulating! Again, to procreate. God is so smart!
What About Later?
You might be thinking that all this information is interesting, but I’ve been married for 10-20 years, and we are done with having babies. What now? Or maybe you and your husband have decided not to have children. How do you keep the home fires burning? How do you keep oxytocin flowing or increase it? As I have stated, the most simple answer is sex, sex, sex. In fact, men only release it during orgasm. But there are scientific things you can do to stay attractive or increase your attractiveness to your man.
Be interesting. Crazy, huh? I bet you thought I was going to suggest some sex thing. Nope. The human brain thrives on novelty or new things. It gets bored very easily and looks for new stimulation. There are several ways to be more interesting to your man. One of the top things I suggest is PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT. Personal development encourages personal growth expanding your intelligence, conversation, confidence, and happiness. As you grow into a more mature and possibly even better person, you will ensure ongoing attractiveness to your husband. Other ideas include pursuing new hobbies, preferably together, but even if just alone, the positive benefits emotional and mentally you will have can enhance your relationship with your man. We cannot ignore the sexual aspect though. New lingerie, a new position, a new location, an element of surprise introduce novelty into your marriage bed making it exciting and creating a memory of intense pleasure that sustains for quite a while as you enjoy the tried-and-true.
Be available. Over time, work, kids, and life in general can diminish your availability and his availability to one another as a couple. One of the best pieces of advice I got from my mother-in-law was that one day the kids would be grown and gone so make sure you keep your marriage priority. Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, had one regret when he was dying of pancreatic cancer. He got to the end of his life and realized that what really mattered was his family, and it was too late. Most of us have heard of couples married for 20 plus years that suddenly divorce, even Christians. Why does this happen? It happened because during the early years of their marriage while building a family and financial security, they MISSED THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT: FOCUSED TIME TOGETHER. Getting away for a drive, a date night, a day or overnight trip can do wonders for your relationship. Leave the dishes! Leave the mowing for tomorrow. Put the cell phones down. Talk, hang out, and have sex!
Be interested. Being a good listener increases your attractiveness to your honey. Asking questions. Eye contact. Giving understanding (not advice). All of these things show your man that you are GENUINELY INTERESTED in him. Will you always be interested in what he is saying? Nope. But you can be interested in him because you love him. My advice: Be conscious of the “BLANK STARE” you might get when you are bored stiff. LOL! Really focus. If the boredom gets too unbearable, staring caressing…ummmm…a certain area. That will liven things up. 😀
God has provided you with effective tools both mental, emotionally, spiritually, and physically to ensure that you and your sweetheart stay together…forever. Just like any relationship, you must work at it. Would you abandon your kids while raising them because you are bored, or they are being stinkers and you’ve had it? Why do we think it is ok to end a covenant relationship that heaven joined because we believe the lie that we’ve “fallen out of love?” Don’t buy into it. Faithfulness is a choice.