Is My Husband An Alien?

If you have read any of my blogs, you will see that I am a big proponent of sex! Why? God designed it, it is undefiled and holy, it’s fun, and it’s your greatest weapon for your marriage! You know that scripture that says not to go to bed angry? I believe one reason God wrote it is that married couples will not have sex if angry! It gives opportunity for the devil. And I guarantee you that there is some unsanctified bimbo just waiting to give your honey a listening ear. Heck no!

Why Is Communicating So Hard?

Let me give you some science. I love science. It proves God’s brilliance.

  • Due to the CHEMICAL STRUCTURE of men and women, women are more predisposed to NURTURE and be EMPATHETIC. Men are more prone to NOT SHOW SYMPATHY, CONCERN, or even RESPONSIBILITY. This can be a problem since your orgasm can be determined by how caring your man is.
  • Women excel at the ability of language due to the fact that testosterone dump separates some of the neural connections in the male baby’s brain in the womb. Men just don’t talk as much. That’s it.
  • Testosterone in men sparks interest in HOW THINGS WORK resulting in the tendency to try to FIX THINGS. This is why when you are sharing your bleeding heart your honey wants to tell you HOW TO FIX IT. Estrogen causes women to care HOW PEOPLE WORK.
  • Estrogen connects both sides of the brains together and is 10% larger making it easy for us to multitask and handle immediate stress better. Testosterone causes men to be very compartmentalized and linear in their thinking. Don’t overload your man with too many words to “honey do” lists.
  • Women recognize emotion before the face. Men recognize the face before emotion. IT IS BIOLOGICALLY HARDER FOR MEN TO EXPRESS EMOTION.

That’s the science ladies. How are you supposed to communicate with your husband when the very way God designed them is so different and weird? Lol.

Tips

  1. Just UNDERSTANDING that your man is like he is by God’s design will help. He isn’t trying to be a jerk. He isn’t trying to not understand you. He is literally wired to fix things and has to learn sympathy and concern.
  2. Let him know that you understand how he is but you don’t want to be fixed. You want him to listen and say, “I understand.” With practice, he will begin to do and feel this naturally. In fact, the Bible says that a husband’s prayers are answered when he dwells with his wife in UNDERSTANDING (1 Pet. 3:7).
  3. Simply tell him that if he wants you to have more orgasms, he better take good CARE of you.
  4. Don’t overwhelm him with tons of words. It just doesn’t work.
  5. Train him on how to talk. When he is sharing things, ask him questions. How did that make you feel? What do you think about that? Enter into that simple communication and over time he learns how to do it. And often it will lead to sex because he feels loved and understood.
  6. When in a disagreement, remind yourself of how he is wired. Then repeat back to him what he just said to MAKE SURE YOU HEARD IT RIGHT. Often we filter what we hear through past wounding and perceptions. If he did say what you think he said, then let him know how that felt.
  7. Always respect your man. Even if you think he is being an idiot, respect him. He will shut down and become hostile if he feels you don’t.
  8. Don’t try to change him. God does that. You honor and love him and allow God to do the changing. It’s not your job.
  9. Pray for your man. I believe God put men and women together so we learn from each other. We need the differences in design or the world would be full of hippies or warmongers. Don’t diminish his value because he isn’t like you. That would just be weird.

The Deepest Communication

For your spouse to feel bonded and close to you, he must have oxytocin released in his body according to science. Oxytocin IS ONLY RELEASED during his orgasm. For the man, sex with his wife is the deepest emotional, spiritual, and physical experience he will have. If he feels deprived, not desired, or that sex is simply a chore to you, that will shut him down and he will not feel close to you. And that unsanctified bimbo will be waiting when his eyes drift. Your greatest weapon is sex!

Destination Church