Cleave...A Lot!
“So Adam gave names to all the cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in it’s place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man He built into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:20-24).
You Were Specifically Built by God for Your Man
The daily routine of work, kids, activities and obligations, and the need for sleep can quietly erode a married couples CLEAVING. As this quiet “cancer” in a marriage eats away at the relationship, the enemy takes advantage by secret perceptions and offenses within each person’s heart. One might wonder if they married “the wrong one.” The other might not feel attractive or pursued. One feels the kids take priority. The other feels work takes priority. And where did the romance and passion go? After about 20-30 years, the children move out and the couple is left with an empty shell of a marriage. Not to mention the infidelity that occurs. The statistics for pornography, adultery, abortion, and divorce in the church is just as high or higher than in the world. Why? NOT ENOUGH CLEAVING!
I want you to see from the above passage that God first allowed Adam to experience a lack of a comparable helper, which helped to prepare Adam to receive Eve and desire her knowing that she was specifically BUILT just for him. In fact, God took a PART of Adam and used that to literally CONSTRUCT Eve perfectly for him. Her role was to be a helper meaning that Adam’s strength for all he was called to be and do was inadequate without Eve. And, I believe, vice versa. Trust me, it is not the idea that the woman is only on earth to serve her man in a slave-like manner. Both together were to be an incredible force in God’s kingdom plans for earth.
Becoming One
After building Eve, God brought her to Adam, the first wedding ceremony. Recognizing the intimacy and the design of the woman immediately, Adam said that she is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. You are divinely designed for sex. He decided that a man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife becoming one flesh. The word one in the Hebrew is the exact word used in Deuteronomy 6:4, which says, “Hear, O Israel, The Lord our God, the Lord is one!” Adam put the act of marriage and cleaving into the same holy category of the unity between Father, Son, and Holy Spirit–three separate Beings in such complete unity that they operate as one unit.
“We are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones” (Eph. 5:30).
Paul later shows how the marriage relationship is a prophetic picture of the unity we have as Christ’s body using the exact words–flesh of His flesh and bones of His bones. This is the high honor God holds the marriage and the sexual union in. Paul wrote under inspiration of Holy Spirit not to “deprive one another except with consent for a time…so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self control” (1 Cor. 7:5). It is a SPIRIT TO SPIRIT, SOUL TO SOUL, and BODY TO BODY act. It is the glue (what cleave means) that protects your unity as a couple. It is to be anointed with God’s presence and under the banner of love as both put the other first.
Cleave means to cling as in sex and in permanent relationship. Note the first step, though, is to LEAVE your mother and father. That means that you loosen yourself from them to cling to your spouse. It goes both ways. If you have a problem with your man, don’t call your mother! You both work it out. Lock the door and work it out. The best thing parents can do is leave their newlywed children alone! Don’t go over unannounced. Don’t give unsolicited advice. Don’t manipulate or control. Leave them alone! If you have a parent/s that is controlling you still after you are married, you will have to put your foot down and break that witchcraft off!
I Don’t Feel Like Cleaving
Statistics have shown time and again that married couples have more sex than singles and are more satisfied. But health problems, crazy schedules, stress, and hormone issues can interrupt or completely eliminate cleaving. Before too long, the marriage can turn into a sexless marriage. Let me give you a clue into how the sex drive works:
THE MORE YOU DO IT, THE MORE YOU WANT IT.
I am not spouting off. This is scientific fact. Experts suggest going at it even when “not in the mood.” If you wait until you or both of you have desire, you will have waited too long. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:4 that the wife does not have authority over her body but her husband does and the husband doesn’t over his body but the wife does.
It is time to quit making excuses for NOT having sex! You must make it a PRIORITY according to the Bible. If God places it at such an honorable and important place, how much more so should we? If you worry about the kids, put a sign on your door like, “Mommy’s spa time” or “Mommy’s Time Out” or “Mommy’s Rest Time” and lay firm consequences for disturbing you. This will free up time that is not right before bed when you are exhausted. Of course, this is if they children are old enough to care for themselves. If not, enjoy quickies during nap times. Exchange babysitting times with friends.
There are so many wonderful things that happen with sex spiritually, emotionally, and physically by God’s design. And for Pete’s sake, ENJOY THE USUAL and also BE CREATIVE TO ADD SPICE. Buy some lingerie! Parade around in it. He always sees you dressed for work or kids. Let him see how you WERE BUILT SPECIFICALLY FOR HIM!