How Your Husband Truly Views Your Body
God designed men to be visual and attracted to pretty things. However, a husband is to control his gaze so his wife doesn’t feel unattractive. In fact, a man should avoid prolonged eye contact with women because his body is designed to respond due to testosterone.
The enemy has done an amazing job of putting unrealistic and fake images of what a woman should look like to lure men into sin and to tell women they are not beautiful unless they look like the airbrushed models in magazines.
It’s Time to Become Friends with Your Body
Most women have an area or areas of their bodies they don’t like. Larger or smaller breasts. Smaller hips (btw, larger hips can be an attraction to a man scientifically). Stretch marks, C-section scars, or excess weight after having children. BUT TO YOUR HUSBAND, YOU AND YOUR BODY ARE PERFECT. This can be hard to grasp. Stop reading this post and ask God to give you revelation on this. Take as long as you need.
Some of you might be married to someone where your spouse looks at other women, cuts you down, makes comments about your weight, etc. BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR HUSBAND’S SELFISHNESS AND LACK OF HONOR IS NOT BECAUSE OF YOU. IT IS BECOME OF HIM.
Some of you might not have taken good care of yourself. Often in the first year of marriage, each spouse gains 10 lbs. It is just as important to take care of yourself after marriage as you did before marriage. Hygiene, being active, eating right, and other healthy habits ensure that you stay healthy, happy, and attractive. I call this “temple maintenance” because your body is the temple of God. Amazingly, the longer a couple stays married, the more deeply their love is if they have cultivated their marriage in spite of wrinkles, excess weight, and gray hair. These things become outward signs of “growing old together,” a dream most newly married couples have.
Body image issues is comparing yourself to others and looking at your body for acceptance instead of God (2 Cor. 10:12). Body Dysmorphic Disorder, a label from scientists for people with body image issues and eating disorders, has been called “imagined ugliness” because the issues the person obsesses about are so small that others don’t notice. WHEN YOU SEE YOURSELF AS LESS THAN BEAUTIFUL, YOU CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOUR HUSBAND SEES YOU AS BEAUTIFUL.
Beware of Invalidating His Attraction to You
Husbands see the C-section scars, stretch marks, etc. as a HISTORY OF LOVE TOGETHER. When your husband tells you that you are beautiful, he is turned on by you, etc. and you dismiss his comments by declaring you are fat, you look disgusting, or display body language that communicates those things, you are hurting him deeply and dishonoring him. He hears you saying that he is lying, wrong, or blind to your true body. YOU ARE INVALIDATING HIS DESIRE FOR YOU AND DISCOURAGING HIM. This type of behavior is like throwing a wet blanket on his desire or basically telling him to take a cold shower.
Summary
One of the most important things you can do is learn your identity in Christ and the value He has for you. I also encourage you to keep the lamp on and not cover your body all the time. Your husband seeing your naked body is exciting for him and can help you overcome insecurity.